A Season of Obstacles; Reclaiming the Feminine Genius
- Abby Thomas
- Aug 2
- 4 min read
It was exactly one year ago that the Catholic Country Chronicles blog wrote a series on the feminine genius. According to Pope St. John Paul II, women possess unique spiritual qualities, including receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity. He has labeled these qualities as the ‘feminine genius’.
Although the words in my post The Feminine Genius were authentically written back then, they leave my current self feeling like a fraud. In recent months, I have been on a healing journey to reclaim the four qualities of the feminine genius following a difficult season for our family.
This past April, my husband was working some intense overtime hours. Not only was I missing him, I was the sole parent to our two daughters and in charge of 90% of the housework. By the end of the almost 2 months of that grueling lifestyle, I was hanging on by a thread and surviving off chocolate and late-night chips and salsa.
It was a challenging season for us. As I am sure others do, when things get hard, I turn inward. Let me vulnerably share a few obstacles that stood between myself and my ability to flourish within the feminine genius....
Generosity
Obstacle: The Orphaned Mindset “I Am Alone”
During this time, the evil one did not waste a single moment to feast on my vulnerability. He knew I was overcoming the lie that 'I was all alone,' and as I was barely hanging on to the edge of the cliff, he pushed me off. It was like I had blinders placed over my eyes, hindering my ability to truly see the people around me: helping me, listening to me, and loving me. Instead, I clung to the smallest circumstances of loneliness until it was engraved into my heart that I was alone. Unfortunately, this cascaded into each area of my life.
Receptivity
Obstacle: Grasping for Control
With my house a complete mess and an alarmingly short emotional fuse, I felt beyond out of control. I did not know what I ‘needed’ and so instead of asking for help, I clenched a tighter grip on the things I could control. I knew my husband's long hours were temporary and I knew I could do anything for a short amount of time, no matter the personal cost.
Sensitivity
Obstacle: Numbness
My capacity for emotional regulation dwindled. I would sneak a piece of chocolate after my toddler had big emotions or escape and scroll social media while nursing my baby to sleep. It was easier to numb when things became uncomfortable than to lean in and acknowledge the root of what I was experiencing. Not only was I camouflaging our reality, but I was also ignoring a teachable moment by not showing my daughters how to lean into their sensitivity-not escape from it. There was no amount of chocolate or mindless scrolling would cure my fatigue.
Maternity
Obstacle:Shame
I felt ashamed of my inability to handle it all. I always heard the mother was the heart of the home, but this mother 's heart was spread too thin. I was embarrassed when I needed help and deeply hurt when help wasn't available. I experienced shame every time I gave my children extra screen time or picked up Chick-fil-A for dinner. I felt guilty when my husband had to dig through the laundry basket for a clean pair of socks for the third day in a row. The list goes on and on...
Redemption in Vulnerability
I was hesitant to share these words with you because I know I was not perfect before my husband's long hours at work, and I am certainly not perfect now. I will always be in a battle against self-reliance and a need to 'control'. It will always be a struggle to flat out ask for help. But what if, instead of punishing myself for not being able to do it all alone, I accept it? What would happen if I was vulnerable enough to allow my weaknesses to be shown? How would my heart feel if I opened my clenched fists instead of clinging to control?
Loving Jesus, You know the obstacles in our hearts that are hindering us from residing in Your everlasting Peace. Come into each of our lives in a radical way and show us the unshakable freedom You desire to give! Shower us the courage to lean into our vulnerability so we may reside in a posture of receptivity. Fulfill our hearts so we may know from the depth of our soul we are not alone. Unleash in us a spirit of generosity and sensitivity. Allow each one of us to flourish in our maternal purpose. May we hold tightly to Your feminine design.We give You all the Praise and Glory. Amen!
Until next time, your sister in Christ,
Abby
P.S. Are you interested in reading more about the feminine genius? Check out these posts from our series last summer!
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