Peacemaking: Embracing Confrontation Out of Love
Do you ever have those moments when you cringe thinking about your reaction, or maybe lack thereof, to a situation? I hate confrontation, but now that I am a mom, sometimes confronting someone for the sake of my child’s heart is necessary. Unfortunately, there is a moment from this summer that haunts me. I did not stand up for my kid, and instead of being a peacemaker for my child, I chose to be a peacekeeper to a complete stranger. Every time I think about this interaction, I feel a pit in my stomach, wishing I had done something differently.
Let me share what happened.
We were making our way through the vendor building at the county fair, and as I pushed my two toddlers in the wagon, I was letting my three-year-old stand so she could see what was on display at each vendor booth.
I may have been okay with her standing, but one of the women sitting at a booth was not. As we approached her table, she looked at my child and loudly said, “Sit down.” Before I could even react, she once again sternly told my daughter to sit down. Without saying anything, my sweet girl complied and sat down.
I was stunned that a complete stranger spoke to my child that way. But instead of telling my daughter that she was okay and it was safe for her to stand, or explaining to the lady that my child had my permission to stand, I said nothing and moved on to the next vendor booth as if nothing had happened.
As I replay that interaction in my head, I wish I would have comforted my daughter. I wish I would have looked into her eyes and told her that she did not have to sit down and that she was not in any trouble. I wish I would have confronted the lady and explained that we were not moving fast enough for my daughter to be in danger and that I, as her mother, would have asked her to sit down if it was unsafe. My lack of confrontation cost not only my daughter’s peace, but mine as well.
Shortly after our trip to the county fair, I stumbled across a Facebook post explaining the difference between a peacekeeper and a peacemaker. Full disclaimer: I did not take the time to read the post in its entirety but I cannot take credit for the peacemaker and peacekeeper terminology.
This simple Facebook post put words to the turmoil I was experiencing in my heart. Instead of reacting and becoming a peacemaker for my daughter, I chose to say nothing to keep the peace with someone I did not even know.
More often than not, it is easier to keep the peace by ignoring confrontation, even if it builds resentment or leaves us with uneasy feelings.
Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God.” We are not called to stay comfortable! Jesus was willing to ruffle the feathers of many in order to bring peace, even if it was for just one individual.
In Mark’s Gospel (Mark 2:15–17), we see Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners. When the scribes and Pharisees question His actions, Jesus responds, “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”
Another example is the sinful woman found in Luke’s Gospel (Luke 7:36–50). Jesus was dining at the home of a Pharisee when a sinful woman approached Him. She knelt at His feet, bathed them with her tears, wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and anointed them with ointment. When the Pharisee hosting Jesus saw this, he said, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner.”
But instead of keeping the peace with the Pharisee by ignoring the woman at His feet or agreeing with his opinion of her, Jesus chose to forgive her sins! He confronted the Pharisee, pointing out that he had not offered Jesus water for His feet, while this woman showed Jesus great love by washing His feet with her tears and wiping them with her hair.
Jesus was willing to embrace uncomfortable or confrontational situations out of love for the person who needed His peace the most. May the Prince of Peace fill us with wisdom to know when we are called to be peacemakers instead of peacekeepers.
Until next time, your sister in Christ,
Abby
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