The Moment She Stood Up: What Mary of Bethany Teaches Us About Not Missing the Moment

For a long time, I thought I knew exactly who I was. I was Martha, the one who shows up early, stays late, gets things done, and makes sure everything runs the way it’s supposed to. The one who serves, organizes, anticipates needs, and carries responsibility without needing to be asked. And if I’m honest, I was proud of that.

There’s something validating about being the dependable one, the productive one, the one who contributes in visible, tangible ways.

But lately, I have found myself drawn to Martha’s sister, Mary. Not because she did more, but because she was fully present and noticed more.

When we read the story of Mary of Bethany anointing Jesus, it’s easy to focus on the act of faith itself, the perfume, the breaking of the jar, and the reaction of the people in the room. What I admire most in this story is that Mary noticed what nobody else did.

Everyone else was sitting at the table, having casual conversation like any other evening, but Mary was paying attention to something deeper. She felt the shift before it was ever spoken, a quiet weight in the room, the sense that something was coming to an end. She understood what was happening, not just what it looked like, and because she noticed, she responded.

Mary was paying attention to something deeper.

I believe that some people are simply wired to notice things, to read a room without needing it explained, to feel when something is off before it’s ever said out loud, and to recognize when there’s more going on than others are acknowledging. And while that can be a strength, it also comes with responsibility, because once you notice it, it changes how you show up.

That’s where Mary’s story becomes more than something we admire, because Mary didn’t wait for confirmation. She didn’t check the room or shrink or make herself small out of fear of being seen as too much. She didn’t measure her response based on how it might be perceived. She simply acted in faith. To everyone else, it looked like she was being too much, too excessive, too unnecessary, and too emotional. But to Jesus, she was right.

There’s also something else in this story that matters. Mary didn’t just respond, she received. Before she ever poured out the perfume, she was the one who sat at Jesus’ feet. She allowed herself to be fully present and still, to listen, and to take in what He was saying.

And if I’m totally honest, that’s the part I am still learning. It’s easier to do, to serve, to do all the things, to step in, help, fix, and carry. But Mary reminds us that we cannot recognize the weight of something if we haven’t first learned how to receive and be fully present in it.

Her response didn’t come out of nowhere. It came from paying attention over time, from staying connected to what was really happening beneath the surface, from caring enough to see people and situations for what they actually were, not just what they looked like, and from being willing to sit long enough to understand before acting.

Mary didn’t hesitate that evening. She responded in a way that matched what she understood. She may not have known every detail of what was coming, but she knew enough to recognize that it mattered. The jar she broke wasn’t casual; it was a valuable perfume meant for a special occasion. Mary used it intentionally that night because she understood the weight of what was happening.

Mary understood her place at the table.

Mary understood her place at the table. Not just where she sat, but how she was meant to show up and what was being asked of her. Her faith didn’t need to be explained. It looked like paying attention, trusting what she saw and felt, and responding with conviction, even when no one else understood why it mattered.

Maybe the challenge for us is to pay closer attention to the Holy Spirit, to trust what we’re sensing, and to stop waiting for everything to make sense before we move. Moments like that don’t usually announce themselves. They’re quiet and easy to overlook.

We can learn from Mary of Bethany that having a seat at the table isn’t just about being there or doing the expected things. It’s about being present enough to recognize when something more is happening. Mary didn’t miss it. She moved. She showed us that knowing our place at the table isn’t about staying seated, it’s about being willing to move when it matters.

Until next time, your sister in Christ,

Hannah

To read the full story of Mary of Bethany anointing the feet of Jesus, open your Bible to John 12:1-8.