Just as I was getting the hang of caring for my two babies under the age of two, I decided to add a third! Three days a week, I provide childcare for my seven month old nephew. That means, three days a week I am responsible for keeping an 11 week old newborn, seven month old baby, and 22 month old toddler alive…YIKES! As you can imagine ‘Auntie Daycare’ is intense. I feel as if I am basically playing whack-a-mole as I tend to the needs of one baby after the other all day long.
Do not get me wrong, we have a lot of fun! There are plenty of laughs and humorous moments as the little ones interact. The kiddos spend their day reading books and playing with toys while I change diapers, make sure everyone is fed, change more diapers, lay everyone down for a nap, and maybe if there is time feed myself or swap a load of laundry. Each child is at a completely different stage of development and each child is completely dependent upon me.
Three babies for three days is about all I can do before I find myself crushed with utter depletion.
As I sat in prayer the following day, unleashing my exhaustion upon the Lord, my toddler stole my pen and started coloring in my prayer journal. She then decided to make me a cup of pretend coffee from her play kitchen and refused to walk away until I took a pretend sip from the little plastic mug. Immediately after she asked me to burp her baby doll while she retrieved a book for us to read.
I could feel my blood begin to boil as I harshly scribbled in my prayer journal (between sips of pretend coffee) about my impatience and desire for uninterrupted time in prayer. I felt so entitled for a quiet moment to myself. After all, I spent the three days prior pouring out everything I had to the children.
My sweet daughter was innocently including me in her playtime but I couldn’t see past my entitlement.
It was then that I read a quote from a book called ‘Steadfast Motherhood’ that made me roll my eyes. It read, “No matter how unruly your child, no matter how trying your day, or no matter how dog-tired you feel---God has called those of us in Christ to be holy in all our conduct.”
1 Peter 1:15-16 says, “But as the one who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct; for it is written. Be holy, because I am holy.”
The book went on to say that parenting brings out our tendency to justify our sins rather than repent them. Convicting, right?! It doesn't matter the reason behind my impatience. The reality is, I was impatient.
God is a merciful and loving Father but he doesn't make exceptions for our behavior. We can make all the excuses possible and defend our actions but transformation only occurs when we recognize our weaknesses and bring them to the Lord. In what areas of your life do you need to stop justifying your sin and instead ask for God's help to pursue holiness?
Loving Father, You recognize my desire to spend time with You in prayer. You also recognize the example I set for my children as they witness my efforts to pray. Allow me to believe that even though I am met with interruptions, my time with You is not a waste. You are walking alongside me at every moment and do not abandon me when I reach the height of my limitations. Reveal to me the areas of chaos within my heart so that I may repent of my sins instead of justifying them. Lord, I can not do this alone. Thank You for continuously filling up my cup during this seasons of depletion. Amen.
Until next time, your sister in Christ,
Abby
Oh, Miss Abby--this is so you!. I see you talking to God in every action you take with those sweet babies. And they will know you as a blessing when their hearts understand your adult heart. You are a role model for all who sometimes struggle with wanting their quiet time, while displaying just the right patience to get you there. God hears you even when you don't speak because he reads what is in your heart every minute! ❤️
God has blessed you. You got this awesome mom and Aunt.