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Mother, Queen of her Home

My “twins” are 4 and 6.  Like many young girls, they LOVE princesses.  Lucy, my hilarious dimple-cheeked 4-year-old told me that she is either going to be a princess when she grows up or take over the home farm.  Such lofty ambitions!  And Jacinta, my petite, glasses-wearing, spit-fire is convinced that she already is a real princess.

two girls in a shopping mall with dad.
Lucy and Jacinta out on a date with dad.

I recently sat down with them to chat about princesses.   Through them, I learned that the role of a princess is to pick flowers and wear beautiful dresses, but not crowns.  Crowns are only for queens.

It’s prime flower season right now as the landscape around us is blanketed in yellow dandelions.  Every day our mason jar of dandelions gets replaced by a fresh bunch that they carefully arrange.  And in a few days, they will add small lilac branches to our display.

Later in the summer, their bouquets will include whatever random weed they can find that produces even the tiniest flower.

Their eclectic collection of “princess” dresses comes from old Halloween costumes, old bridesmaid dresses, and retired church dresses, with plenty of sizes and styles for them to choose from.    

After much prompting, I discovered that those were the only two roles of princesses- to pick flowers and wear pretty dresses.  Then they told me that I couldn’t be a princess because I was bigger than them, and that would be weird.  It only made sense to them that I would be the queen.

A queen?  Actually, I’d rather not!!

Queens scare me.  I can handle the flower-picking, dress-wearing life of a princess, but having to keep a crown on my head and boss people around is a bit too much for this non-confrontational, timid human.

To me, queens have a sense of power that is almost frightening.  Keep in mind that my stereotype of queens was formed by my extensive experience as a Disney movie enthusiast as a child, and that one documentary that I watched about Catherine the Great of Russia.  Alice in Wonderland certainly didn’t help shape my perception either…  

Queen of Hearts
Alice in Wonderland's Queen of Hearts

This makes me an expert on my OPINIONS of queens, with ZERO actual evidence to support it.

But anyway, my intimidation of queens is because they are powerful, whether ruling alone or beside a king.  She has a tremendous amount of influence within the kingdom.  Sometimes this is used for good, and other times for evil.

The hierarchy of royalty in my mind looks like this.  The princess, an oppressed and misunderstood beauty, marries the prince.  In a few years they take over the throne and she rises in power and becomes evil.  The end.

I recently discovered, through Fr. Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year podcast, that queens in ancient times were NOT the wife of the king as I had always assumed.  Think back to King Solomon.  He had 700 wives and 300 concubines.  And this was the guy known for his wisdom…?! 

How would he have chosen which wife to crown as his queen?  Instead, the queen was the MOTHER of the reigning king.

By crowning his mother, the king was elevating his mom, who arguably knows him better than any other woman, so likely has his best interest at hand.


I’m not talking about a toxic co-dependent relationship here… I’m just assuming that if you had many wives you wouldn’t have the opportunity to have as intimate of a relationship as someone in a Christian, monogamous relationship would.

Our Blessed Mother has many titles of Queen.  Queen of Angels, Queen of Heaven, Queen of Peace,  Queen of Confessors, Queen of the Universe, etc.  But can we say that her title of Mother of God is even more powerful?

That title was officially recognized by the Church in 431 at the Council of Ephesus. In Greek, the title is Theotokos. 

Given the mini ancient history lesson I have just provided, if Jesus is the King, and Mary is the Theotokos, the Mother of God, does that not make her the Queen?  The most powerful woman in the kingdom?

Our Blessed Mother Mary is Queen in the Kingdom of God
Theotokos, Mary Mother of God

Whether you have a strong devotion to Mary, you celebrate her casually, or you don’t ever think of her, given this logic, I challenge you to approach her with the honor and reverence she deserves as the rightful Queen in the Kingdom of God.

Yes, she does matter.

Yes, she is significant.

Yes, she is a BIG DEAL!

We do not worship her as Catholics.  What a sneaky lie her enemy has spread and so many believe.

Mary is worthy of our love and devotion because she is Jesus’ Mother. 

Don’t we love, and aren’t we devoted to our own mothers?  Should we not love her in the same way, she, who bore Emmanuel, God With Us, in her womb?  She, who kissed His chubby baby cheeks, she, who blew on His bowl of soup to cool it off, she, who washed His pudgy, dimpled hands after playing in the dirt?  She, who loved Him, who is Love itself?


This Mother’s Day is going to be very special.  I will get to help celebrate the baptism of my nephew, and welcome him into our Christian family!  But I will also get to celebrate his mom, my sister, as well as my other sisters, who are all amazing mothers, as we enjoy the afternoon together.

I also plan to hop over to the cemetery for a quick hello to my mom.  Then I hope to end the day with my incredible mother-in-law, who deserves all the fuss and more!

Throughout the day I’m sure I will be showered with love from my 8 kiddos.  My oldest two boys will roll their eyes as they hand me a scribbled note that Adam made them write.  I will hug them and thank them and act like I had no clue that these teens were forced to say something nice.

My middle kids will either make me something special, or will sneak off to the store to buy me something sweet.

And my “twins” will have stacks of pictures that they colored just for me.  There will be the sweetest lopsided hearts, plenty of rainbows, and several drawings with people.  There will be one tall one in a red dress, and one short one in purple, or pink depending on which twin drew the picture.  Upon closer inspection, the one in red will have a yellow crown on her head.

Fellow Queens, Happy Mother’s Day to you.  You are more loved and cherished than you will ever know, even if the little princesses and princes, and kings in your life don’t have the ability to tell you so.

mom and daughter
Leah with her daughter Jacinta, the princess.

Mary, Queen of Heaven, Mother of God, patron of mothers, and model of all that we strive to be, pray for us and beg your son to help us. Help us to rule our family with love, humility, and patience instead of dominance and fear. Help us to see Christ in the little cheeks that we kiss, and the chubby hands that we wash. Please be a mother to us as we try our hardest to mother those around us. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Until next time, your sister in Christ,



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