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Connective Glue

It has been four years since my husband and I went on our first date. The last four years have been a whirlwind of maturity and change as we transitioned into married life and now parenthood. There is one daily habit that has held steadfast since our first date. Each night we reconnect by sharing our highest point of the day, lowest point, a humor moment, one thing we are grateful for, and a God moment we experienced that day.



Our bedtime ritual has been the connective glue during seasons when our time together was limited. While we were dating, engaged, and in the first year of our marriage, we lived opposite schedules. As I concluded my work day, Dylan was just beginning his shift. We were intentional with when and how we spent our time. But most importantly, we were intentional about the conversations we were having.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. -Proverbs 18:1

I admit that I can be petty and extremely dramatic. My feelings get hurt easily, and small things become a big deal! Sometimes, I feel silly for sharing the low point of my day. But there has never been a time that Dylan has judged me or made me feel silly for whatever my low might be. By allowing the other person to share their low point of the day, we validate their experience but do not dwindle on the negativity for long.


We move on to sharing the highlights of our day. I love hearing about what brings Dylan joy and what he looks forward to each day. We rejoice with one another as we recall the goodness in our life. It then leads to sharing something we are grateful for. I have learned so much about Dylan by listening to his grateful heart. I pay attention and implement things that he mentions. Making the bed was never on my priority list. One morning I made the bed. That evening, Dylan shared how grateful he was he did not have to fix the sheets before falling asleep! Now, I make the bed each day with him in mind.


My favorite part of our evening ritual is talking about our humorous moments. It is the perfect way to recap the day. Laughter decreases stress hormones and relaxes muscles. Is there a better way to prepare for bed than a good laugh?



Finally, we discuss a God moment. During this time, we converse about what is happening during individual prayer time and assist one another in discerning the movements of God. There have been seasons in our relationship we have had to hold one another accountable by making prayer a priority again. We often pray a rosary together and discuss the daily mass readings. But when we share individual God moments, we ensure that God is the center and foundation of our relationship.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:12

My dear readers, as we continue this series on marriage, I pray for the foundation of your marriage. May the Lord bless you and your spouse with joy, laughter, gratitude, and strength. May you live happily ever after!


Until next time, your sister in Christ,


Abby


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