Coming Home Series; Flaming Turkey and the Importance of the Family Meal

Our family decided to be more intentional with our evening meal a few months ago.  My kids took this very seriously.  We were used to eating around our giant island, so they decided that eating around our kitchen table would create a more intimate environment.  And what better way to do this than to light some candles! 

The taper candles were made of beautiful beeswax.  My 9-year-old took his job of lighting these candles very seriously.  He would wait in agony for my husband's truck to pull into the driveway, which was his cue to fire up the lighter.

Sitting around our kitchen table allowed us to eat slowly and chat with everyone about their day.  The only problem was the temptation to burn things.  Mid-conversation I had to remind my kids that the candles weren’t toys. 

“Do NOT stick your napkin in the flame!”

“Roasting your hamburger in the candle flame is NOT appropriate!”

“No, you can’t try putting out the candle with your fingers.”

These, among many other reprimands, became our nightly routine. 

The candles made an appearance several nights a week until one fateful night. 

We were happily chatting as a family when I glanced up from my plate to see a look of pure fear in the eyes of one of my children.  This child started yelling, “I didn’t do it!” as he stood up, panicking.

The whole dining room erupted in squeals and protests of horror as we all quickly realized that our lovely turkey centerpiece was in flames!  

The Burnt Bird

The child who was playing with the candle at the time of the fire took it upon himself to put out the flame by blowing on it.

As he was blowing embers into the face of his sister across the table, I finally recovered my senses.  Our patio door was just a few feet from the crime scene, so I had the brilliant idea of throwing the flaming bird out the door and into the freezing night air.

I have often joked that I would make the worst first responder because I panic in an emergency situation.

I sat in freeze mode long enough for the entire production to take place.  Thus, the blowing that could have easily fanned my décor into a blazing torch was just enough to extinguish the fire, leaving a trail of smoke dancing above the dining room table.

We all sat in stunned silence for a moment until one of the younger kids started to giggle. Her little dimpled chuckle was so contagious that soon everyone was roaring with laughter.  And through the laughter we all spoke over one another as we narrated our unique versions of the story, all at the same time.

I kept the burnt turkey and plan to proudly display him on my kitchen table for many years to come, so we can share the story of the burnt bird year after year.

Isn’t that what family dinner is all about?  Sharing our stories as we share a meal? 

The family meal is touted by experts, religious and secular alike, to have so many benefits. 

Here are a few of them.

·       Reduced stress and tension

·       Higher self-esteem

·       Better family relationships

·       Healthier eating

·       Improved academic performance

·       Better communication

·       Decreased risk of substance abuse

·       Decreased likelihood of friends using drugs

·       Opportunity to hare mealtime responsibilities for even the youngest family members

And with even a small amount of additional research, I am sure I could find many more benefits.

For so many years I would stumble across a study about the benefits and roll my eyes, because we have always eaten together as a family.  Who doesn’t?  And then I had a teenager.

I will not bore you with the details, but basically, we have practices before supper 5 nights a week, and practices and meetings after supper over half the nights as well.  It’s pretty insane actually!  Some nights we walk in the door from wrestling practice at 5:50 and are back out by 6:10.

Anyway, after reading over the list of benefits, I am pretty sure those benefits weren’t written with my 3-year-old in mind.  But because we have been in the habit of eating together since my oldest was 3, it is still the norm, and so everyone pitches in to make it happen. 

I’m hoping those family meals, some nights rushed, some nights relaxed, will help guard and form the hearts and minds of our young teens and preteens. 

It’s incredible to me how something so ordinary can have such extraordinary benefits! 

It’s like Jesus present in the Eucharist.  Something so ordinary- bread, yet so extraordinary- the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord! 

Jesus present, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity

Until next time, your sister in Christ,

Leah