With tears in my eyes I said to my sister on the phone, “I don't know what to do. I don't think I can come!” I was locked in a gas station bathroom with concealer and foundation in my hands. I was in a losing battle with a massive zit on my face that was mocking me in the mirror. I was so overcome with insecurity that I was ready to head home instead of meeting my extended family for a fall event at the local brewery. My sister brought me back to a humbling reality when she reminded me that nobody would even notice the zit that was ruining my day!
Unfortunately, that was not the first time I was ready to cancel plans due to the insecurity I had about my appearance. How did I let pride have that much authority over my life?
I knew something needed to change. And so, I turned to prayer. My intent was for the Lord to help me fall in love with the girl whom I encountered in the mirror every day. I wanted to feel confident regardless of any breakout on my face or lack of ‘in style’ clothes I possessed in my closet. I was tired of feeling insecure about my appearance and so for months and months on end I prayed for an increase in confidence.
To this day, I still struggle with physical insecurities and am often turning to a sister for affirmation regarding an outfit or advice on how to tame flyaway hairs. But, my fervent prayers did not go unanswered. It is hard to describe the increase of spiritual confidence that has been instilled in my heart.
Little by little it became easier to confidently make decisions for myself. I was no longer worried about pleasing others through my decision making but focused on what was truly good for me.
There is a beautiful collaboration between our personal intuition and the trust we have in the Lord. He is continually guiding our discernments and we confidently make decisions based on the probings in our hearts.
Jesus, our Good Shepherd, desires for us to boldly trust in Him as He leads us through each season of life. The Holy Spirit has gifted us with an intuition so we can make worthy decisions for our lives. He desires to replace our insecurities with peace and longs for us to love the person reflecting back at us in the mirror just as much as He loves us.
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of spiritual confidence! Thank you for giving us opportunities to place our trust in You. Thank you for inspiring our hearts and influencing our discernments through your Holy Spirit. May our insecurities melt away as we grow in virtue and may our influence on those around us lead others closer to Your guiding hand! Amen.
Until next time, Your sister in Christ,
Abby
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